Buckle up, kiddos, ’cause this is going to be a whopper of a post.
So, I’m not regularly dating. I am, however, irregularly dating.
I mean, I still have a profile up on a dating site, but since it’s not really breaking my heart to be single, I’m not fully invested in the whole process, am sort of half doing it to be doing something, and it’s not going so well. More than anything there have just been a lot of awkward exchanges, and some red flags a’waving. But I digress . . .
I’ve met a couple of people here and there that I’ve been hanging out with. It’s all very much just about as serious as Sponge Bob, at this point. Yep, “still” (grr) single. Still crazy.
So, last night I was hanging out with a guy friend, and the topic of threesomes came up. I said that I wasn’t interested in having a threesome with a guy and another girl. This lead him to say that he didn’t think that he and I could ever be compatible, because I’m too closed minded, since I wouldn’t consider a threesome. I’m not closed minded. I’m straight.
(It should be noted that I had not been considering having sex with him, so this is kind of a moot point.)
It reminded me of an exchange I had with another fella some time back. I was trying to encourage him to stop with the endless flirting, and, you know, actually take me Out, instead of just talking about it. Well, he had suddenly changed his tune, and let me know that now he had decided to only take out “ladies who like other ladies.”
What exactly am I supposed to do with this? I guess whatever floats your boat, but what about actually floats my boat? I also just don’t understand why this would be such a shock to anyone. I mean, why would anyone assume that I would be into women when I’m so obviously into men, and haven’t shown any signs of being into women. I guess it’s wrong to assume anything about anyone’s preference, but it’s equally wrong to assume that I can just turn gay all of a sudden.
It’s a huge double standard. These same guys, they would never dream of having a threesome with me and another guy. It would never even occur to them, and there’s not a lot of precedent for it in media, either. While there are so many examples in pop culture of the portrayal that women’s sexuality is fluid, men’s is in most cases portrayed to be rigid. For women, there are a gajillion porns, Girls Gone Wild, Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl, etc, where at any moment a woman who identifies as being straight could become attracted to other women. Because it’s not enough that we face pressure to be beautiful, youthful, smart, and malleable in a hundred other ways, now we have to be bisexual, too. Or at least be willing to have sex with someone we’re not the least bit attracted to in order to be attractive to the ones we are.
Pardon my French, but FUCK THAT SEXIST SHIT!
Message to the dudes of the world . . . .I can’t help it if I’m hetero. Oh darn! I actually am attracted to humans that have body shapes and appearances similar to yours. What a bloody tragedy. And this idea that I should have sex with someone I didn’t want just to prove something to you or that it means that I am closed, narrow, or small minded is fucking insulting.
I’m straight. Get used to it.
Just sayin’.
And a side note to any bisexual women and/or women who do want to have threesomes with another woman, go get your get, and I just want to be clear that I got no problem with you. In other words, I ain’t mad atcha.
Peggy Lu Who's Just Sayin' 
Incidentally, those of us who are bisexual equally hate this crap. It reduces our sexuality to something that exists to be a command performance for some dude. There’s more to sexuality than just being with someone of the “right” gender – the fact that I’m bi does not automatically mean that I will be attracted to any particular woman that the guy brings home, nor that I will enjoy or desire the type of sex acts with her that he would enjoy watching. These are concepts that this type of man has a very hard time understanding.
But, you know, us gals don’t really have desires that anyone cares about. Our job is just to get the dudes off, knowwhatImean?
Yes! This is also something that I sort of had a vague concept of, and didn’t quite know exactly how to put into words.
After decades of watching men gay-bash feminists, only to reverse direction and demand voyeur lesbianism as a sexual right, I’ve finally decoded the sexism in this. Our male chuvinist pig is a lazy critter who wants the female of the species to do his chores for him. Since he has been educated in the existence of female sexual pleasure and orgasm, he will get another woman to handle that work for him while he plays sexual sidewalk superintendent.
Thank you for not cooperating.
You’re welcome!
Yes! Men should be called out more often on this. If I’m lazy too and I want some guy to do the oral on my hook-up so I don’t have to, do I get what I want? Hell, no.