CSGL – Just Another Friday Night

Friday evening, Hepcat played with Flogging Molly at The Fox in Oakland.  It was my first time seeing a show there.   Kayphore came with me, and we spent a lot of the time during the opening act discussing our new band, what kind of band we want to be, and how we would like to get it off the ground.

However, before I had gone out on Friday, I had slipped into my I Don’t Give A Shit Attitude.   So I feel as though I may have some amends to make.

To the German girl who’s feet I absolutely clobbered while dancing to Hepcat – I’m really sorry.   I’m almost as sorry that I don’t speak a lick of German, and so couldn’t even express my regrets to you.

To all the people I wrote on – you’re probably realizing now that that was a medical grade marker that I was using.   I nicked it from the hospital when my dad had his surgery.   It’s not washing off is it?   Sorry about that.

To the guy who I made buy me that drink because he interrupted my conversation twice – your girlfriend didn’t seem to happy when she found us talking at the bar.   Sorry about that.    I hope you’re not in too much trouble.

To the guy I called “sweetheart” on the street – I don’t normally behave so informally towards strangers.   I’m sorry . ..  but seriously, call me.

Uh, and too anyone else who might have been offended or startled by my frankness, my verbal diarrhea, or my complete lack of any kind of internal censor, I apologize.

Just sayin’.

CSGL and the Chamber of Freakishly Weird Dreams

I’ve been at my parents’ house for a week now.   My dad is going to be having his tumor removed on Friday.   Since he’ll be in the hospital for at least a week, and my mom does not drive, I’m here to help out.   My company has graciously allowed me to work remotely while I am staying with my parents, which is very cool.   I’m not burning through PTO while I’m here.

So what am I up to?   Well so far I’ve just been working, driving my folks around, and reading.   Reading the tail end of the Chronicles of Narnia and starting the Harry Potter series.    I’ve also seen more than my fair share of ESPN’s various programs and many episodes of MASH.   What can I say, but it’s what Dad likes.

It’s pretty odd being here, at the folks’ place, as I’ve never lived here.   This is my parents’ retirement home in Washington.  They moved in about three years ago.   I’ve visited quite a few times, but it had been over a year since I had been here last.  So, while it’s my parents’ home, and I’ll always be welcome and free to make myself at home, it’s not my home.   I don’t know where things belong in the house, and I don’t know my way around the neighborhood very well.

So, I don’t know whether it’s the stress of the situation, the strange surroundings, or my reading material of late, but I’ve been having some very strange dreams.    Dreams about just about everything and everyone.   The happy couple redoing their wedding, because they decided they wanted a much more formal affair.   My house being home invaded while only myself and one roommate were home, and the robbery being done by a girl I went to Junior High with.    My teenage self being told by my parents that they were expecting another baby.  A friend’s bed being full of random strangers, one of whom was very angry with me for being better liked than her.   And finally last night, Nova doing everything in his power to try to keep me from going to sleep, even though I was really exhausted.

So, I wonder what I’ll be dreaming tonight.   But before I get to bed, I’ve got to find out what’s going to happen to Harry Potter next.   My guess is that there’s going to be some stressful scenario where he could either die or be expelled from Hogwarts.  I mean, as far as I can tell, that’s the whole plot of the entire series.   Of course, I’m only on the second book.   I’m not too fond of these constant traumas, though.   Why doesn’t that idiot just go tell Dumbledore?  Geesh.

OK, yes, I am a nerd.

Just sayin’.

CSGL – Random

Yeah, so remember what I was saying about leaving that door open.   About how you leave yourself open to the experiences of life, sometimes you get the good.   Sometimes you get the not so good.   And sometimes you get the just plain strange.

My weekend started out pretty good and normal.  Kayphore and I went out to see some bands and karaoke.   By the way, best karaoke performances of my life, and you missed them.   Anyway, it was all good.   And then . . .

Kayphore and I were kidnapped and held hostage by a Rockstar.   On accident.

At least, I hope it was an accident.  He’s a nice enough guy, and I don’t know that he would be trying to make me panic with a desire to fling myself down on the floor, kicking and flailing my arms while sobbing.  ”I . . . want . . . to . . . go . . . home!”

It was certainly the most interestingly random thing that’s happened to me in a long time.   And I can’t say that it was awful, but it was definitely not how I planned to spend that evening.   Any evening, really.

We finally made it out of there Saturday morning.

And that was just the start of my weekend.

Wowzer!

CSGL – Quitting

It’s part of the process, really.    I opened myself to a lot of new experiences in the last year, and I call it my Crazy Single Girl Life.    It’s what you have to do, right?   You have to invite the good in.    Unfortunately, with the good, sometimes a bit of unpleasant dust blows in with it.

Part of the growing I need to do is to learn to better trust my instincts.    For the last few months, my gut has been telling me that something was wrong.      I tried to change some of my behavior, and distance myself in certain situations, to shield myself from some behavior that was making me uncomfortable.  I tried to remain optimistic, and tell myself that these were things that would just blow over with patience.   However, there comes a point where you realize that the best answer is just to stop and say, “NO.  No more.   I’m done.”

I have quit the band and the soccer team.

It wasn’t all bad, and I have made some wonderful friends.   I know that we will see each other, and continue to be a part of each others lives.

But not everyone I meet is deserving of my friendship or my respect.

And at the same time, just because you shouldn’t be friends with someone, that doesn’t mean that you have to be enemies.   It just means that you move on.

Just sayin’.

CSGL – Enough with the Allusions

OK, I know I’ve mentioned in at least two blog posts that there were changes a comin’ to my life.   Well, here’s the big reveal – I moved . . . . again.

Yes, that would make the fifth move in four years.

Yes, I am crazy.

So, I am once again living with roommates.   No more pantsless-ness . . . well, unless I’m in my own room.

There are several reasons why this is way better -

1. No more sleeping with a baseball bat to fend off things that go bump in the night.
2. No more sleeping mere feet from drug dealers and prostitutes who are only separated from me by a thin piece of glass.
3. No more sinking suspicions that my room is going to become an inescapable vortex which I will never be able to free myself from the very next time I close myself in it.  (Yes, that is a real fear that came over me while I was sitting home alone one night.)
4. No more leaving the TV on 20 hours/day just to keep me company.
5. I live in a house now.  A whole house.  Multiple rooms.  Living room, kitchen, bedroom, etc.  All separated by walls.   It’s astonishing.
6. I have an instant social life.  (Just add beer.)
7. I live with a cat now.
8. I am living with some of the coolest folks, friends I’ve known for years, who I really truly love and respect.

So, there you have it.  Now you know why I have been taking my damn time posting up pictures from my holiday.  I couldn’t find my laptop in the boxes.  I’m slowly digging out from the pile, though.   Hopefully I’ll develop a routine for this new life.   (For example, I went to the gym this morning before work.   Damn that’s weird.)

I think it just was about time to shake it all up all over again.   So I did.

Just sayin’.

CSGL – Blowing This Taco Stand

So, I’m going on a little vacation to Northern England. I’m leaving this weekend. It’s sort of a solo trip, except I’ll be staying with and kicking it around with my aunt who lives there.

I’m going to be flying into Manchester, and spending some time there on my own, and then spending time around Yorkshire. I’m going to go to many pubs, many curry houses, and walk through many gardens.

There will be photos. All the photos.

And when I come back . . . . big changes.

I’m very excited for the next month or so. More to come.

CSGL – Shopping Rant

When the hell did it become so difficult to buy just a four pack of toilet paper?!?!   I just want four.   I don’t need to buy twelve rolls at once.  I don’t have room to store that much toilet paper, and it would take forever to use all that.   For.  Ever.  

 

Just sayin’.

CSGL – The Movie

You know how there’s that party game, where you have to try to try to figure out who should play you in a movie?

Well, apparently they already made the story of my life into a movie, and I’m played by Dane Cook.  (You’re probably a little confused, but don’t worry, it’ll make sense in a minute.)

The other morning, I was on Instant Messager with Kayphore, as usual.   Blah, blah, blah, I didn’t sleep again, blah, blah, still sick, blah.  Same shit, different day, you know.   And then I told her about a certain realization that I have come to lately.   I am the perfect setup girl.  She didn’t quite understand what I meant at first, so I explained.

You see, if you date me or even if you just sleep with me, within a year you will be madly in love . . . just, you know, not with me.   At least the last three dudes I tangoed with are all, according to them, happy as freaking clams with some broad that they hooked up with within a year of dumping me.    One of them even had a baby with his new lady.  And there’s a chance that some guy that I only ever got to look at may be currently heading in the same direction, but it’s a little too early to tell in his case.  So, dating me sets you up to fall in love with someone else.  How convenient!

Anywho, I was relaying all of this to Kayphore, and she says that it sounds like a crappy movie that she didn’t see.   I responded that it did sound like the kind of thing that could be turned into some kind of banal romantic comedy, and she replied that it was really already an actual movie.   A couple of minutes later, after what I assume was some sort of scouring of the inernet, she came up with it.

Good Luck Chuck starring Dane Cook!

From Netflix:

Every time unlucky-in-love Chuck (Dane Cook) breaks up with a girlfriend, that girl ends up engaged to her next boyfriend. Women are soon knocking on Chuck’s door, hoping that after enduring a few dates with him, they’ll meet Mr. Right, a gamble that works out better for the ladies than it does for Chuck. But when he meets klutzy penguin trainer Cam (Jessica Alba), Chuck realizes that he has to stop being a way station on the path to love.

So, of course it’s in my queue now.   And it’s probably going to be horribly bad.  But it’s like an opportunity to watch yourself in a train wreck.

I guess the question is, who’s better looking . . . Dane Cook or Moi?

- Or -

And if you want to be madly in love sometime in the next year, you know, call me . . .

Just sayin’

CSGL – Valentine’s Day

So, Clam summed it up in his text message this afternoon – “btw, FUCK VALENTINE’S DAY”.

So I’m avoiding it.   Big time.

Actually, I’m sitting on the couch, nursing a hangover, and overdosing on Lifetime Television for Women.   The only people I’ve talked to all day were bandmates.   I went and had a recording session with Ruckus, and Pedro called.   Other than that, I said please and thank you to the folks at the hardware store and Whole Paycheck when I went in to grab a few things.  

But my one favorite thing about Valentine’s this year, were these flowers that were delivered to my office yesterday with a naughty little note.

Tulips are my favorite flowers, and I love all the colors in this bouquet.    That’s why I sent them to myself.

Yeah, you just read that right.  I sent myself flowers.   Why?   Why the fuck not?    You know, it’s fun to keep people guessing, too.  Because I only told half my co-workers that they were from me.    To the rest, I just smiled and blushed. 

And the naughty note?  Well, I figure if you’re going to send yourself flowers, there ought to be a little dirty note to go with.

They’re probably the best flowers I’ll ever get.

Just sayin’.

CSGL – Return of the Pile of Pants

Remember a few years back, when I wrote about the pile of mostly clean, partially dirty, stretched out just right pants that lived next to my bed?   

Well, it’s back, and it’s better than ever!

I woke up to my iPod this morning, something by Depeche Mode, and laid there hovering between sleep and wakefulness.  When I knew I couldn’t put it off a moment longer, I leaned over, grabbed hold of the first pair I could get my hand on, leaned back, pulled them up and on, and got out of bed.  

Of course, unlike the “good old days” I now have short hair, so I can’t just throw it in a ponytail and go anymore. 

Also, I now always make sure to eat breakfast.   Usually this is done leaning over the counter.   The time it would take to sit would cut into that fifteen minutes of  groggy that I enjoyed.

So, it takes about twice as long for me to get out the door.

But I’m getting back into my own old habits, instead of living the way someone else expected me to.   It’s not the same exact pattern, but it’s still mine.   

I’m going to be the biggest slob I want to be, because at the end of the day, I’m the one who lives this life in this and lives in this mess. 

And there’s no way in hell I’m going to let go of this again so easily.