I’m leaving it all undone

peggyluwho:

A reminder….getting stuff done isn’t everything in life.

Originally posted on kelzbelzphotography:

image

I’m leaving things undone today. Not matter how much my mind is urging me to clean and work. I must let my body recover. Im nothing to myself or my children, if I’m physically and mentally drained.

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Tired of Being Sick, Sick of Being Tired

I’ve been sick for over a week.  Without getting too graphic, I’ve been having sinus trouble that’s been causing me to have a nasty cough.    There are times during the day when I stop coughing for a few hours, and I think that I’m getting better, but it hasn’t lasted.  I’ve tried everything that I can think of to try to cure my problem, or at least bring me relief.  Some things help for a short time, but nothing has been permanent, obviously.

I’m a fan of herbal and home remedies, if you have’t noticed.  I’d rather use something natural or chemical-free to fix my ailments, whenever possible.  So, I’ve been using a plethora of products and methods.   I have some herbal drops that I’ve been using to make tea, things with names like “Sinus & Lung Blaster.”   I also sat the other night with my head hanging over a bowl of boiled water with eucalyptus oil under a mini-tent created by a sarong.   Yes, I’ve been using the neti pot.  And when all else has failed, I’ve even taken Mucinex.   The thing is, unless I’m constantly drinking some beverage or other, sooner or later the stuff from my sinuses that’s ending up in my throat makes me cough.  I’m well hydrated.

The other thing that stops the coughing is being asleep.  I’m not having any trouble with being tired; I’m exhausted from all the coughing and running to the bathroom to return all the water and tea I’ve been drinking.  The problem is balancing my desire for relief from both the coughing and the exhaustion with my previous and well documented insomnia problems.

This evening, I screwed up.  I just couldn’t help it, and I couldn’t take it anymore.  As soon as I got home from work, I went straight to bed.   I really couldn’t help it, though.  And it was delicious.  I slept so good, and I wasn’t coughing.  Even when I woke up, for a little while, I just laid there, and felt better than I’ve felt in over a week.  Mr. Darcy, my cat, even came and laid next to me and purred for a little while I scratched behind his ears.  It was cozy, and nice, and everything good.

The problem is, I only slept for three hours.  And now here it is, 1 a.m. and I’m awake.

Because as an insomniac, the last thing I should ever do is take a nap after work, or nap for longer than 25 minutes ever. And I know this.  And I did it anyway.

I should be going to bed every night at the same time, and getting up in the morning at the same time.  I should follow the same routine every night before bed.  I should never sit on my bed, or do anything on my bed, except for bed stuff.   I should avoid caffeine after three in the afternoon.   I should never drink alcohol.   I know how helpful sleep medication can be, but habit forming, and I know the pitfalls of relying on them.   I know that vanilla, chamomile, and lavender can make you drowsy.  I know to turn off my electronics at least half an hour before I try to go to sleep.

I know all these rules.  I live by these rules.  I know the consequences of not following these rules.  I also know the effects of sleep deprivation all too well.  And I know there’s less of a chance that my immune system will be able to evict whatever is causing this sinus problem without proper sleep.  In short, I know better.

But god damn was that nap worth it!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go pee for the 500th time today, and then I’m going to try to find something really boring to read.

Just sayin’.

 

Throwback Thursday Post

Usually on Thursdays, people post (embarrassing) pictures of themselves from “back in the day”.   I’m going to do it a little bit different.

Click on my First Grade School pic for a special TBT Blog post

Throwback Thursday

Family Vacation

I was able to go on vacation with my family, where I was the youngest by about 16 years.   It was a wild and crazy time, and I am so glad that I got photographic and video evidence.

 

I love my family, but they’re absolutely bonkers.

 

Just sayin’.

This is what starting over looks like

I have some work to do.

Screenshot 2014-09-08 09.17.24

Just sayin’

Quote for Today

I don’t know that I necessarily want to get into doing a QOTD type thing, but here’s a quote I found, and it’s lovely for today.

 

For now she need not think about anybody.  She could be herself, by herself.  And that was what now she often felt the need of—to think; well, not even to think.  To be silent; to be alone.  All the being and the doing, expansive, glittering, vocal, evaporated; and one shrunk with the sense of solemnity, to being oneself, a wedge-shaped core of darkness, something invisible to others.  Although she continued to knit, and sat upright, it was thus that she felt herself; and this self having shed its attachments was free for the strangest adventures.  When life sank down for a moment, the range of experience seemed limitless….Beneath it is all dark, it is all spreading, it is unfathomably deep; but now and again we rise to the surface and that is what you see us by.  Her horizon seemed to her limitless.

- Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse

 

I hope you enjoyed that.  I found it to be a wonderful description of what’s possible by letting go and being present.  Living in this precise moment is more expansive than one might realize, if you can manage it.

Video – Book Review: The Great Glass Sea

Here is another book review I did on YouTube.  I was kind of rushing when I shot the video, so I don’t think it came out as well.  I am still learning about how to do this.  Also, lots of really entertaining hand gestures in this one, I gotta say.   Please enjoy responsibly.


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